In memory of Sybil and Lynda

The world lost a sweet soul this week. Cancer, in all it’s forms, is an unfair disease. It never discriminates.

Lynda Boutilier was an amazing, shining example of what people should strive to be – kind, sweet, positive. She fought her cancer bravely, but succombed January 7, 2009 at the age of 35.

Sybil Deford just wanted to tell her story, and bravely fought cancer 3 times before finally succombing on February 12, 2005 at the age of 32.

Sybil wrote a lot about her cancer, and, like Lynda, always tried to remain positive. Below is an except from her journal that I think is wisdom for everyone.

Treasure the real stuff and let go of the trivialities. The trivialities are really most of everything.

Be your best self, it’s enough to be that. Decide what that is and stick with it. To be less is to waste the beautiful experience of your life, and you don’t want to waste any of it, because it can vanish in an INSTANT and then you’ll have to start all over again, which would be a real drag.

Feed your soul and seek Truth. And go without fear, because fear is the enemy of faith. And faith is everything, man.

And always remember that the worst thing that can happen is really not that bad.

It’s a wild and rangy and overgrown road out there, and we need to keep our legs strong and our machetes sharp. But we also need to remember the soft things. So sing, look up at the sky a lot, and pick some daisies on your way. You’ll thank me later for the daisy part, trust me.

Find a nice rock to sharpen your machete, and whack away at the wild woods. And if worst comes to worst, you can always throw the rock.

Forge your way bravely, which means going in even if you’re scared, because to not go in is fatal. (And really lame. I mean, come on.)

Be joyful. Don’t waste your life being unhappy. It’s not worth it. As someone who’s had a lot of time to sit and think about stuff and watch life cruise on by, I can tell you that the only thing I want right now is to go back living my life, even the boring tedious parts. I treasure them ALL.

And remember to be kind to the people around you, because it’s their hands that hold your ropes to the earth. Without them, you’ll just float away. Remember that everyone’s doing the best they can, and judging and expecting is foolish and more wasting of your precious spirit. Besides, you’re not going to change anyone’s path, unless they want to. Go your way, and walk in peace around everyone else making their way. We’re all just people here, having an experience.

Let it go.

-Sybil Glory Deford (livejournal: fey), 1973 – 2005

Rest in peace, ladies. See you in the next life.

Day 24: Compassion

Today feels like a day for compassion. Hence the devotion to Kuan Yin. I have a permanent altar set up to her on my bookcase.

I was sick last night and into today – I slept for about 14 hours last night, interrupted briefly by the cat being a dick, and having to get up to call my boss and let her know that I would not be in today. I just ached and ached – like I had fallen or was hit by a truck. All this was compounded by a massive migraine. It sucked.

I felt much better toward the end of the afternoon. Maybe it was just a mild bug.

I then made a trip out to the hospital to visit two of my friends who just gave birth to a healthy baby boy this afternoon. I am very pleased for them – they seem a might bewildered by this tiny thing they created (in a good way), but very happy. It’s good – they deserve it. Their baby is very cute.

Still doesn’t make me want children, but I love watching other people with theirs, and playing with kids. I want to be the cool, kooky auntie, but I doubt I’ll be an auntie within the next 10 years, as my dear sister only turns 18 in February.

As I explained to someone else in a comment earlier this weekend, I fully support the right for people to have children – I think it’s great if you want kids. But I started babysitting when I was 11, and partially raised 12 children (as I am the eldest of 15 grandchildren) as I spent every weekend and every summer babysitting until I moved to Halifax (I have +5 immunity to baby poo). I have 16 years experience dealing with children, from newborns to teens. I love babysitting, but I don’t think I could handle my own wee sprogs. I’m content lending a hand now and then, but in no way do I want to subject myself to the pain of childbirth, nor the responsibility of bringing new life into an already overpopulated world when I don’t want to. I plan on getting sterilized when I turn 30. I highly respect my friends, who have made the informed decision to raise a child, and I have the highest confidence that they are going to be (if they aren’t already) fantastic parents.

Like I said – if you want a few, great. Fill yer boots. The world needs more smart, creative people having babies. Love ‘em like crazy. I love babies.

Just don’t have 10.

This will be my last ‘photos for the holidays’ entry. I may pick up something else along the way, but school starts again tomorrow (well, Tuesday for me) and I’m going to be fully immersed in quite a few things for the next number of months.

But oh, will I still write.

Day 23: No photo available

No photo today – I am under the weather.

Day 22: RESULTS

Looking like a dude is seriously the in thing right now.

Well, I said I’d roll with it, and I am. It’s a change, which I have issues dealing with usually. But hey, I can work this – I worked last year’s necessary short cut until it grew out. The shortness will be here for a few months, at least until I can get enough of my natural colour in for a stylist to match and remove the dark bits, or until I cut it all out – whichever comes first.

I’m just gonna have ‘girl’ it up, or faux hawk it something. I also plan on getting my veritable forest eyebrows waxed in the next week or so. Simple lawn work for what’s behind the picket fence.

Day 21: Resolutions, thoughts, and changes.

Ignore my goomba face. Consider this my “before”.

I usually don’t do the resolution thing – I didn’t really do it last year. I have a few things I want to do this year.

Numerologically speaking, the number 9 is a number of change. I think 2009 is going to hold a lot of changes for people, including myself. Most of my changes are going to be positive:

- finish school
- finish my year of paths
- become a healthier person (that means eating better, staying active, and being mindful of my own thoughts)
- enjoy my journey
- tell everyone how much I care about them
- create my own self image

How I am going to do these things:

- go to school and not suck at it. I need to finish this, if nothing else.

- stick with it, embrace it, make time for it.

- I am going to start cutting refined sugar out of my diet (and attempt to get it out of the house) except from home made goods. I want to pick up a copy of wii fit to keep active during the winter, and get back to cycling in the spring/summer. Eat more fruits. I’m not really looking to lose weight, though it would be okay if I did. I just want to feel healthier and more toned, and I guess with one comes the other.

- Just embrace whatever happens as a life lesson.

- Be more mindful and considerate of others.

- Make the changes I want to make.

And to kick off the new year, I’m going to go get all my hair chopped off tomorrow. Part of getting more healthy is to let my natural colour see the light of day (which it hasn’t since 2003). It’s getting long now, and that’s great, but it doesn’t feel healthy or look healthy.

I’m thinking pretty short.

And then, oh the growing it will do.

I’m currently making my Montréal plans (March break). I am likely going to be staying in a hostel, but I found a nice one with good reviews that’s under $20/night. We’ll see what happens, though $330 for 4 people taxes in for 5 nights accommodation is not bad.

And now, to sleep, dear ones. I have haircuts and cat food to get in the morning. I predict a riot.

Day 20: OMGZ 2009

So yeah.

OMGZ 2009

We headed over to Steve and Cathy’s tonight and just massively chilled. We are having a pretty brutal storm right now, which was fun to walk home in.

We rang in New Years, chatted a bit more, and now we are home, relaxing… except for Dave, who has to work in this bullshit weather. I really hope he’s doing alright, and that he’ll be able to get home in the morning.

Day 19: New Years Eve

Drew is a very sexual man, You should all worship at his very gay feet.

Day 18: Stupid Pants

Can someone explain to me why guys feel the need to wear their pants around their knees? This dude’s pockets were at his knees.

Because I really don’t understand.

Day 17: No photos, just an awesome video

These kids are fucking incredible.

I did take photos, but I’ll post them tomorrow.

Day 16: Smokey

I’m pretty sure the majority of you bastards have stopped reading, but whatevs.

I actually went outside during the day today. This is a big deal, because I don’t think I’ve been outside during the day NOT going to work in about a week. The big star in the sky, it burnses.

I had the displeasure of sitting next to this random dude in the half shelter. He leered at me, eyed me up and down, and sat down. He proceeded to light up and smoke upwind of me. Fuck you, dude. Now you’re on the internet. Good thing you can’t really see much of his face.

I ran some errands, and then came home and cleaned like a motherfucker. I then made stuffed chicken breasts and pasta. Then I cleaned some more.

Drew and I did a cleansing of the house tonight – too many bad vibes hanging around. We shook rattles and chanted in each room, then burned some incense. I have a altar currently set up for a ritual I plan on doing tomorrow morning. One of two, actually. I need to release someone from my life – a lying, rude, cocksucking thief that’s taking far too much of my time and energy. I plan on releasing them to dig their own hole – they’ve been pissing off a lot of people lately, and I have a feeling their comeuppance is neigh.

I also made some dream pillows since we’ve been having some issues sleeping lately (mostly, I think, due to the fucked up negative vibe hanging around like smoke) and some charms. I think I’ll smudge the house tomorrow again.

Oh! I downloaded this awesome book keeping/library program for mac that I am seriously in love with.

It’s called Delicious Library 2. It lets you catalog everything (itunes music, books, etc), records all the pertinent info (ISBN, Dewey decimal) with a cover to display on virtual shelves alphabetically. If you have an isight camera (on a laptop), you can scan the UPC and it automatically loads the info. You can also sign stuff out like a library, too, so if you lend stuff, you know who to and for how long.

Good too, if you need it for insurance information (break ins or what have you).It can catalog all your camera equipment, including lenses, flashes, etc. I spent a lot of tonight scanning my bookshelves and adding camera equipment and my DS and Ipod and the like. Oh, organization!!

Tomorrow Dave returns from PEI. I have to meet him at the station and then go bra shopping. Two days in a row I’ll be out during the day! Hooray!

Plans for new years? I think I’m supposed to be hanging out with all the kids who are moving away soon. Movies and pizza and games, probably.